Back in my old days we had to be quick as a turtle! Yes, that's right, ol' Crazy Cartman was sure an athlete. Participated in the 300 B.C. olympics, yes sure I did. These missles were used to keep you in tip top shape. I would come out of my room to get a cup of tea and A MISSiLE COMES AND LAUNCHES TOWARDS ME. I TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES BECAUSE I WAS SWEATING FROM THE INTENSITY I HAD FROM FEEDING MY FAT GERBIL. I FLOPPED ON THE DECK OF THE FLOOR LIKE A FISH ON A BOAT. THEN THE MISSILE PASSES ME LIKE I'M KATE MOSS.

BTW, THE EARTH IS FLAT.

You lil' whipper snappers! I outta' smack you in shape! The first place I would go if I'm homeless (which I'm not, I live on a nice BIG pile of concrete with many people coming and going and with pretty lights always on so that I don't get scared in the dark) I would live on a BIG pile of concrete with many people coming and going and with pretty lights always on so that I wouldn't get scared of the the dark! Does that make sense to you little whipper snappers?! Kids these days... ... never use their brain.

I have an explanation for chairs appearing lone chairs! THEY'RE OUT FOR REVENGE ON US!!! They always tasted our ass and they're sick of it, now they're out to unfold and snap on our asses when we turn away from them. IT'S TRUE!

AND THE EARTH IS FLAT FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE